Autism Through My Eyes: A Personal Story of Challenges, Growth and Self-Discovery

Written By: Arber Ismaili

Hi everyone, it's me again! I will be sharing more about my journey with autism including both the challenges and the positives. I also want to share some advice that might help others understand and support people like me.

I want to show you guys how autism is a strength and has allowed me to achieve so much in my journey so far!

Here is me in an interview with my friend, Steven Rockwood

Here is me in my role as a Young Professionals Ambassador

Recognising I was Different: My Early Signs of Autism

From a young age, I always did feel like I was quite different. I struggled to understand people and often found it hard to make friends. Kids would look at me oddly, and I didn’t know why. I couldn’t keep up with conversations as they felt impossible to follow.

Instead, I found comfort in my favourite games and routines that I was obsessed with. I’ve always hated loud noises as they would make me cry, and my mum often had to comfort me. I preferred being on my own, rarely spoke to people, and was incredibly shy. Back then, I didn’t have much confidence.

Struggling to Fit In: My Experience of Autism at School

I remember that the hardest time for me was the move from primary to secondary school. I remember crying a lot, wanting to go home. The anxiety was overwhelming.

At secondary school, I felt isolated. I stayed quiet and shy, often expressing kindness by giving sweets or helping people which now looking back, was my way of trying to connect. I also didn’t realise that not everyone meant what they said. I took words at face value, which led to uncomfortable situations because I couldn’t pick up on hidden meanings or social cues. I just wanted to fit in.

Understanding My Behaviours

Over time, I started to understand more about myself and why I acted the way I did:

• I avoided places, foods, and textures that made me uncomfortable like the feel of books or loud environments.

• I would become overwhelmed or in distress, often triggered by too much noise or too much information at once.

• I didn’t get jokes or banter and was often told I “couldn’t take a joke” or “they were only messing”. I just didn’t understand and got annoyed as to why someone would say something they didn’t mean.

• Conversations were difficult. I couldn’t relate to what people were talking about and struggled with really big groups.

• I tried to act like and mimic the popular kids to fit in.

There were more behaviours I came to understand over time like stimming which I explained more in my last blog raising awareness on autism

How Autism Became My Strength

It’s not all struggles! There are strengths too.

• I can focus deeply and stay on task, which has helped me in my studies and made me a favourite among teachers.

• My kindness has allowed me to build good relationships, even in secondary school.

• I’m very self-aware and observant, often noticing things others might miss.

• I get hyper-focused when working on something, which pushes me to give my best and see things through.

It is a strength which has allowed me get accepted as an apprentice for HSBC and interview professionals:

A recent session where I interviewed Collins Ogundayisi for VestorGrow

My Advice for Supporting Someone with Autism

If you want to support someone with autism, here are a few things that can really help:

1.)      Check in with us: We may not always speak up, but we appreciate when others reach out.

2.)      Keep routines clear: Let us know in advance if plans are changing as, it helps us feel prepared.

3.)      Avoid information overload: Break things down into smaller tasks where possible.

4.)      Communicate clearly: Avoid jokes or sarcasm and say what you mean. We often speak plainly and appreciate it when others do the same.

5.)      Create a safe environment: Think about things like lighting, noise, and having kind, understanding people around.

6.)      Get to know us: Learn what we enjoy, what makes us feel comfortable, and see us as individuals. We have a lot to offer!

Thank you for reading about my journey and hope you learnt from it! You are all legends as always!

Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn😊

Arber Ismaili